The presence of the one you love is addicting.
Truly it is.
She would often catch me stealing snapshots of her. She has learned to smile when she catches me – one of the little things she does for me that makes my heart so happy.
Sometimes though God makes spaces in between you both so He can come in or where you can both grow.
I am so much in love with this wonderful human being. She is my best friend, my quirky little sister, my confidant, my partner in God (soon! Pray for us please!) :), and sometimes my mother and lola too.
I firmly believe in our love – her love for me. She has inspired me to do so much in the past year and half that we’ve known each other that I got to step into the castles in mid air that I had left to the past. They became concrete. I owe so much to Bev that I really want to be the best man for her.
I thank God for her.
She is someone so in tune to her want to go to heaven. I see that everyday. I had made a promise to God that I would help her in any way I can. A few times there is contention as I want to do everything for her. A woman of strength, character and conviction often can do so much on her own that I sometimes feel that I do not have a place by her side. She would ask me not to do things for her but I do them anyway.
You could compare me to a child wanting approval – I think I had made a mistake here. I searched for her approval when I should’ve sought God. In love we must seek God. For God sees the heart and if the heart is worthy – if both hearts are – he will take them into His hands and mold them into one. I see now as she saw me. I’m not really someone so handsome but she loves me. She sees God in me whom she loves and that keeps us together. It’s different when we see God. The love you have becomes bolder and stronger. The love you have becomes connected to the will of the Father and thus this love flourishes in His name.
I believe I am still worthy though because God has brought us together. I do, however, have so much to grow. I thank Bev for her patience. She has brought me closer to God, a feat that I had thought no longer possible since I had thought I was okay already. I however have a bit of a hard head sometimes that I push her away from sharing. I sincerely apologize. I hope and pray everyday with tears that God enable me to stand beside her – to try and carry her higher to heaven. Literally carry sometimes.
Her happiness is my happiness. A day without her smile can be so ordinary. I have so much more to grow.
EPHESIANS 5:28-30 “28 So [also] husbands should love their wives as their own bodies. He who loves his wife loves himself. 29 For no one hates his own flesh but rather nourishes and cherishes it, even as Christ does the church, 30 because we are members of his body.”
I love you, Bev.
I miss you. 🙂